My first STD was from a foam party
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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