addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
