If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize