doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
