When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
