how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?