Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off