I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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