Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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