I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
