Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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