The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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