this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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