its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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