if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Found the puke drawer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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