Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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