he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
