12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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