WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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