oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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