Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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