Will you blow on my dice?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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