i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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