I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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