my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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