So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
