Pappa wants mamma naked
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green