glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?