just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer