Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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