There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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