I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
