I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
