whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
