and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
