Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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(314): View more from Missouri

96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework

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(716): View more from New York

Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!

(1-716): View more from New York

Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.

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(303): View more from Colorado

New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/

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(360): View more from Washington

You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.

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