How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
