this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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