That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
