I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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