just come out here and I will go home with you...
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
