Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize