At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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