never play flip cup with pint glasses
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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