Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
