ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
