that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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