so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
