Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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