what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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