Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize