You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize