i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
