Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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