are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize