do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
