I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm at about main and main street
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
