Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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