I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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