Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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