I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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