Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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